When surrender costs something precious, yet obedience opens the way for destiny
Last week I finally stepped out in obedience and messaged Peter about Godโs prompting regarding the worship team. This marks the closing of a four-year chapter since I first joined the team, a season that has quietly shaped me in ways I am still discovering.
I had been meaning to reach out for a while, as this was something I had been carrying prayerfully for months. Clive and I find ourselves in a significant season of transition, and during this time I have sensed the Lord gently prompting me to step back from serving on the worship team for a season.
This has not been an easy prompting to receive. I have wrestled with it honestly, largely because worship has been such a deeply meaningful and life-giving place of service and connection for me. It has never simply been a role. It has been a place of encounter, belonging, and privilege. Letting go, even for a season, has required surrender, trust, and a willingness to follow His leading where it unfolds next.
This year, however, my focus has shifted toward growth in leadership and speaking in preparation to fully step into my calling. I have become actively involved with the Speakers Institute and their leadership team, which has opened doors for training, leadership development, and gatherings that are happening on the same evenings as worship rehearsals. This creates an ongoing clash in commitments, and I have become increasingly aware that it would not be fair to continue singing on Sundays while consistently missing rehearsals.
In addition, Clive and I are in a foundational season of building relationships with other churches and communities in preparation for the launch of our community hub later this year. This has meant being present in different church spaces on some Sundays, which further affects my consistency and availability.
After much prayer and reflection, I sense that the Lord is asking me to lay this down for a season so I can give my full attention to the areas He is calling me to steward in this next chapter. It feels like a necessary trade-off, not out of distance or disengagement, but out of obedience and preparation for the vision He has been entrusting to me since November 2019.
It has been an absolute pleasure and a privilege to serve and worship alongside Peter and the team. I am deeply grateful for the trust, the shared moments in His presence, and the space to serve in this way. This season has marked me, and I carry it with honour.
I remain deeply connected in heart and purpose, and I carry this season forward with gratitude, trusting that as the Lord leads, what has been sown here will continue to bear fruit in ways that honour Him and serve His people.
On Saturday I attended rehearsal and heard from him that February would be my last, as we were not scheduled for March. Suddenly what had been thoughtful consideration became real. Coincidentally, we finished with King of My Heart, the same song I auditioned with for Life NZ Choir in June 2019. The symmetry was not lost on me. In spite of the tears, rehearsal went well.
Today was my final time serving on the worship team alongside Peter and the others. Worship itself flowed gently and, mercifully, there were no tears while we led. Yet after church, when saying goodbye to Pete, they rolled freely.
I cried all the way to Silverdale for the Elijah House North Shore gathering. I was grateful that, except for Peter, no one had arrived yet. He was able to pray into the grief.
This is the kind of grief that does not accuse God. It honours what has been. It recognises that obedience sometimes asks us to lay down what we love most, not because it was wrong, but because the season has shifted.
๏ “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” โ Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NKJV)
๏ชจ There is truth here: A closed season is not a closed calling.
๏๏ธ Surrender is not loss when it is placed in the hands of the King.
๏ฑ What is laid down in obedience often multiplies in hidden soil.
Worship has never been confined to a platform. It lives in the studio, in leadership rooms, in trembling first speeches, in paint on parchment, in tears in a car on the way to Silverdale. The song was never ending, it was simply changing key.
If this chapter began with King of My Heart in 2019, it closes with the same declaration. He has been faithful at the beginning and He remains faithful now.
๏ก Reflection:
- ย What am I holding that the Lord may be gently asking me to lay down for a season ๏ค
- Where have I confused continuity with faithfulness ๏ค
- Can I trust that obedience will bear fruit even when it feels like loss ๏ค
- What new key might God be inviting me to sing in this next chapter ๏ค
๏บ Affirmation:
I release this season with gratitude. I am not losing my place in Godโs story. I am stepping into the next movement of it. What He has planted will continue to grow, and what He is preparing will unfold in perfect time.
๏ Prayer:
Father, thank You for the gift of worship, for every rehearsal, every Sunday, every shared moment in Your presence. Thank You for the friendships and the trust that marked this season. Where grief lingers, meet me gently. Where surrender feels tender, steady my heart. Teach me to release what You are shifting without fear. Anchor me in truth, guard my motives, and let obedience be my song. May every closed door become an open field of fruitfulness in Your hands.
In Jesusโ Name, Amen.
