My heart is heavy 😔 & my heart is sad😢😭

Psalms 61:1-3 NLT[1] O God, listen to my cry! Hear my prayer! [2] From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, [3] for you are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.

Today, my heart feels heavy, my spirit is weighed down by sadness & I've cried a lot. The pain of betrayal cuts deep, because it always comes from those we love and trust. The responder in me gives my heart, whether people will take care of it or not. Their flattering words were like a soothing balm, but their actions have left a dagger in my back.

Once again, I've had the breath knocked out of me & rejection cut deep, deep wounds 💔 into my heart. I'm utterly disappointed, mostly in myself because I perceived the wall come up a couple of weeks ago & should have seen it coming, but I gave them the benefit of the doubt & didn't prepare myself for what would follow & once again, the dream of a lifetime friendship has been burnt to ashes.

But I console myself in the fact that God heals the broken-hearted & binds up their wounds. He was betrayed & rejected many times even on the cross, yet He chose to forgive even from the cross. Through this trauma I can get to know Him more intimately. I will forgive again because people are fallible. I will grieve my losses & in time, I will heal again.

However, I refuse to believe the LIE that I'm not good enough! I will get up again & out of the ashes the warrior will arise, having grown through the experience & coming forth stronger & wiser than before.

I will praise You in the storm, Lord.

Thank You, Lord, that I can trust You to walk with me through every disappointment. Help me take every thought captive that is not of You, Lord. The enemy is relentless & doesn't fight fair, but thank You for Your armour that protects me from every fiery dart the evil one shoots my way.

The testing & pruning have been severe this year, but thank You, Lord, for being my strength when I feel inadequate, ill-equipped & weak. Without You, I will never be good enough, but You have given me everything I need for a life of Godliness.

It's not by power or might, but by Your Spirit that I will overcome. Be my strength. You give me just enough light for the step I'm on & help me trust Your guidance when I'm navigating unchartered waters.