Lifting the Lid
When the heart remembers before the mind does, and the gentle call to process through rather than push through
📖"The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit."
✍️ On Saturday at the PSANZ Trailblazers Convention, during her presentation Rejection Advantage, Verity Craft invited participants to close their eyes and travel back to a moment of rejection from earlier in their lives.
"Put yourself back in that moment. Hear what you heard. See what you saw. Feel what you were feeling. Notice how your body feels."
I should have known that joining the activity might stir unexpected responses. In an instant, my chest tightened and the tears welled. Before I could even recall the moment itself, I felt it in my stomach. My body remembered before my mind had caught up.
I'm on the job, I thought almost instantly. I can't afford to unravel now.
So I quickly opened my eyes, ignored further instructions, put the lid back on it and steadied myself by focusing on the task at hand. I felt grateful to be tucked away in the corner, where nobody would notice me wiping away tears and calming my racing heart. The slides had to keep rolling...
🕯️ Yet somewhere beneath that carefully closed lid, something tender had been stirred.
I'd done what was necessary in that moment. There was a responsibility to fulfil, people depending on me and a Convention unfolding all around me. Still, I know that sometime in the next few days, I'll need to gently lift that lid, inviting Jesus, the Healer of broken hearts, into that tender place.
Not to force myself to remember everything.
Not to reopen wounds simply for the sake of feeling them. Rather, to give myself permission to acknowledge what surfaced, to listen with compassion to what my heart may be carrying and to allow healing to unfold in His presence.
🕊️ Perhaps there's a difference between putting a lid on something for a moment and keeping it sealed for a lifetime. One may be necessary to navigate the responsibilities of the present; the other can keep us from tending to the pain of the past.
Maybe this is a season for lifting lids that have suppressed a lifetime of experiences.
I'm learning that I don't always have to push through. Sometimes, with Jesus beside me, I can gently process through.
My story for His glory, changing the world🌏 one 💔heart💖 at a time. — Patrizia
Perhaps lifting the lid isn't about falling apart at all. Perhaps it's about finally allowing the parts of my heart that have been held together for so long to be held by Him.
- What did that moment of rejection awaken in me, even before I could identify the memory? 🤔
- Where have I learned to put a lid on my emotions simply to keep functioning? 🤔
- What would it look like to invite Jesus into this tender place without rushing or forcing the healing process? 🤔
- How can I honour both my responsibilities and my heart's need for care? 🤔
I don't have to choose between being capable and being tender. My tears don't diminish my strength, and my responsibilities don't cancel my need for healing. I can lift the lid gently, in God's timing, trusting that the One who knows my heart is near. I'm allowed to process through, not merely push through. 💖
Dear Jesus, You saw what happened in that moment, even before I understood what was stirring within me. Thank You for being near when old hurts surface unexpectedly. Help me recognise when I need to keep going for a little while, and when I need to make room for the feelings I've set aside. Give me courage to lift the lid gently, wisdom not to rush and grace to receive Your comfort in the places that still ache. Teach me that I don't have to hold everything together to be held by You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
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