One Year Since I Conquered the Mountain of Fear

A remembrance of the morning when fear tried to silence my voice, and faith quietly carried me onto the stage.

🕯️ Today, one year ago, I spent the third day of the Speakers Institute Bootcamp standing at the edge of one of the biggest strongholds in my life.

Fear of speaking.

For this Bootcamp presentation, I had to dismantle something that had held power over me for most of my life. It felt like pushing a huge rock up a hill, step by step, while being met with resistance that seemed far bigger than the task itself.

✍️ I had practised the presentation for months. Every word was familiar. I could run through it easily in my mind and often rehearsed it before going to sleep at night.

Yet when I woke up that morning at 5:30 to rehearse it one final time, something unexpected happened.

It felt as if all the powers of hell had descended on me.

The words that had been so clear the night before disappeared. My mind went blank. I tried to begin the opening line, but before I could get a single word out, I burst into tears.

🕊️ The next two hours were a battle I will never forget.

I sat there crying, wrestling with the blackout in my brain and the suffocating despair pressing down on my chest. It felt as if something inside me was trying desperately to stop me from standing up and speaking that day.

By the time Clive came downstairs, I was still in tears.

He sat with me, comforted me, and prayed for me. His presence was steady and calm when everything inside me felt chaotic and fragile.

When the time came to leave, every part of me wanted to withdraw.

I wanted to cancel.

I wanted to hide.

I wanted to say I simply could not do it.

🪨 Yet Clive gently insisted that I had come too far to give up now.

He reminded me of the months of preparation. He reminded me why I had started this journey. Then he drove me to the venue and dropped me off at the door.

🌱 I remember standing there for a moment before walking in.

Fear was still present. The trembling had not magically disappeared. The resistance was still whispering that I should turn around and go home.

Yet something deeper had begun to grow.

Courage.

Not the loud kind that shouts. The quiet kind that simply takes the next step.

📖 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” — 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

📖 “Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” — Joshua 1:9 (NKJV)

Bootcamp Premiere Presentation

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🕯️ Looking back now, I see that morning differently.

What felt like overwhelming resistance was also evidence that something important was shifting. Fear does not fight so fiercely unless something valuable lies on the other side.

That morning was not the absence of fear.

It was the beginning of freedom.

🌱 In the year that followed, the journey did not end at that stage. I continued walking forward step by step. I have since joined the Speakers Tribe leadership team and remain deeply grateful for the community that has supported my growth.

Public speaking is still challenging for me. The old fears do not disappear overnight. Yet I now recognise that growth often looks like returning to the same mountain with greater strength each time.

I know that in order to fulfil the calling God has placed on my life, this is a journey I must continue. Each opportunity to speak, to lead, and to share honestly becomes another small stone moved from that once‑immovable rock.

🪨 In many ways, learning to use my voice has become part of the calling God has placed on my life to help bind up broken hearts and restore hope where silence once lived.

📖 “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, because the LORD has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted.” — Isaiah 61:1 (NKJV)

What once felt like a crushing stone of fear is slowly becoming a testimony of redemption. The very place that once tried to silence my voice is now becoming the place where God is teaching me to speak with courage, compassion, and truth.

The stone I once struggled to push is slowly becoming the foundation upon which God is teaching me to stand, speak, and help restore hearts one story at a time.

💡 Reflection

• When have you felt resistance just before stepping into something important that God was asking you to do? 🤔
• What fears have tried to silence your voice or calling? 🤔
• Who has God placed in your life, like Clive in mine, to stand beside you when courage feels fragile? 🤔
• What small step of courage might God be inviting you to take today? 🤔

🎺 Affirmation:

Even when fear feels overwhelming, courage can still take a step forward. God does not wait for perfect confidence before calling us to obedience. He walks with us through trembling beginnings and turns those moments into testimonies of His faithfulness.

🙌 Prayer:

Father, You see every hidden battle that happens long before the world ever sees the outcome. Thank You for the moments when You give strength in the middle of weakness and courage in the middle of fear. Help me to trust that Your presence goes before me, even when my heart trembles. Teach me to keep taking the next faithful step.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.